Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence
Iqra Siddiqui
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Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviours that usually occurs among intimate family members. Generally, the purpose of creating violence among intimate family members is to gain power and control over everything. In some conditions the reason of violence is to just annoy the particular person that may result from psychological issues. Spousal violence is a part of every country.

It presents in families of all races, religions, cultures and income levels. It can happen between/among people of all ages, genders and sexual orientations. It occurs in all kinds of close relationships including married couples, same-sex partners, and people with children in common, people who are formerly came into new relationship and teen dating relationship.

Mainly, existing literature focusing on the violence between married couples and in-laws. Merely, any article dealing the abusive behaviours of parents and siblings with a particular member of family. The decisions full of anger and enviousness by the ruling person of a family ruined the future and currier of that specific member. It also comes under the term domestic violence.

This act of violence devastates the victim’s ability to make decisions. The pattern of coercive control may include emotional/psychological abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, social abuse and economical/financial abuse. The purpose of an abuser is to control the victim. Emotional/psychological abuse is a key tool for abusers to make victims feel scared, crazy, worthless and responsible for abuse.

Abusers always try to demoralize the victim by making lame jokes and insulting them in public. Humiliating and criticizing the victim’s competence in front of others just to show extreme jealousy. To fulfil enjoyment purposes abusers use to call the victim with different slang words like whore, prostitute, bitch, racial slur, etc. Ignoring the victim’s feelings, blaming for all problems and accusing of being an abusive partner, threatening physical abuse and to take children away from the victim comes under emotional/psychological abuse. These abusive behaviours make the victim mentally sick.

The most common term of domestic violence is physical abuse that is often less violent in the beginning.

As the abuse continues, however, the intensity of violence increases day by day. Physical abuse may include hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, scratching, biting, pulling hair, tripping, strangling and throwing objects on the victim. To make the victim scared using dangerous weapons. Threatening homicide. Forced intercourse and then attempting to force abortion. In most of the cases victim does not need abortion because physical assault leads to miscarriage. The shame full act also done by the abuser is forced fasting of the victim. The cruel nature of the abuser takes away all meal from the victim.

This act destroys the physical and mental health of the victim. Sexual abuse is also very common domestic violence. But it is least discussed due to societal boundaries. Sexual abuse includes uncomfortable or unwanted touches and unusual behaviour of abuser towards the victim. Considering woman as a sex object and expecting that she is always ready for sex. Sometimes the abuser use wild sex as a punishment.

Abuser tries to make sexual jokes and criticizing for not giving good sex. Forced prostitution, rape and sex after beatings is also a part of sexual abuse. The abuser won’t regret having extramarital affairs. He uses it as a tool of sexual jealousy that can be felt by the victim. Above lines represent the shortest description of sexual abuse. Social abuse is that in which cruel abusers use to make the victim alone in every condition. The abuser isolates the victim from others in the community.

The less the victim connected with people, the more the abuser has control over the victim. Abusers imposed on the victim that they should spend more together. On this point sexual abuse is connected with social abuse. Spending more time together means more forced sex. Abusers are always discouraging and forbidding the victim to see friends and family. Restricting the victim for everything. Keep a check on every little activity of the victim.

In some critical situations abusers also check the mobile phone of the victim. Abuser trying to spread rumours about the victim that he/she is crazy and abusive. In order to make the victim as the weakest personality in society, the abuser has a key tool for abuse that is financial abuse. Abusers often try to set up financial control over the victim.

Victims have fewer resources for escape if they are financially dependent on abusers. In most of the cases of domestic violence, victims are not working persons. If they have any job then the abuser controls the victim’s access to cash, checkbook and credit cards. Abuser monitors the victim’s spending. The authoritative person making all financial decisions for the household and hiding financial secrets.

Continuing discussion about domestic violence with specification of domestic violence against women in Pakistan. Domestic violence against women is a global issue. According to registered cases of sexual abuse and domestic violence, Pakistan ranks as sixth for domestic violence against woman in the world.

Experts consider Pakistan as a dangerous country for women in the world. Domestic violence is an indigenous social problem in Pakistan. It is going to be critical day by day. A rough calculation shows that 5000 women are killed per year in Pakistan and thousands are disabled or mutilated. Human rights watch conducted a study in 2009 which estimated that 70 to 90 percent women have suffered some sort of abuse in Pakistan. Law enforcement authorities have information about only registered cases.

There are numbers of cases that won’t be registered or have no legal resources. The authorities do not consider domestic violence as a crime and usually avoid to register cases that are brought to them. In most cases the victims are weak and have limited ability to escape from violations. Only fewer women shelters in the country if they have strong references. In majority cases, authorities try to convince the victim to sort out all issues within a family talk. The writer herself is eye witness about domestic violence and does not speak openly due to societal boundaries plus so-called honour.

Even we have seen non-serious behaviours from previous governments. PTI government in KPK proposed (prevention and protection) bills of domestic violence against women in 2019 but it was rejected by all religious parties in order to make amendments according to Sharia and Sunnah. Still haven’t seen any progress. The federal government is also very lazy about this issue. Even the human rights commission did not survey after 2009 in Pakistan to gain information about domestic violence.

Acid throwing, bride burnings, dowry death, so called honour killing, foot binding, female Infanticide, forced marriage, forced prostitution, forced pregnancy and forced abortion are abuses in Pakistan for which the victim won’t be able to speak. Murder of pregnant women, sexual assault, sexual slavery and rape/gang rape are also very critical domestic violence that exist in Pakistan.

She can be reached at Iqosiddiqui40@gmail.com